Sucky Labs

I got my lab results from last Tuesday.  Clearly, from the title, they didn't turn out great.  I'm now spilling over 1g of protein & my blood protein, albumin & globulin are low.  Everything else was in normal range but my Chloride was at the very tip-top of normal, whatever that means.

So I recognize that there are many many people with FSGS that would consider my protein spillage minimal. But just 2 months ago I was spilling NONE.  I was in complete remission.  So this really sucks.

And I've been feeling bad, which now makes sense.  I couldn't even get myself out of bed Sunday morning.  I've just been so fatigued.

My last ditch effort before going back on a high dose of prednisone is to go back on my ACE inhibitor.  I never said in the previous post why I went off of it... I went off because its a "black box" drug if you're pregnant, meaning it causes birth defects.  I'm not pregnant but I'd like to be in the near future.  But I have to be off of the ACE.  So even though going back on it is not the biggest deal in the world, and its far more desirable than going up on my pred, its still kind of a blow.

Another new "fun" symptom I've been having lately is knee pain.  It started last Monday after my spin class.  By tonight, they had stopped hurting but hurt again during tonight's spin class.  I'm not sure if this is because of the prednisone or because of my disease but it really pisses me off.  Exercising as much as I do is for my mental health.  Its clearly not doing anything for my physique.  I discovered my love for cycling over a year ago & if I can't do it anymore I'll really really be pissed.  Like seriously pissed.  I have struggled off & on with anxiety for almost 2 years & have been able to avoid medication because of exercise.  But that's another post...

I really am having a hard time.  I cried almost the entire spin class, which seems ridiculous, but it was a good place to do it because its too loud for anyone to hear & my tears can drip away with my sweat.

I am just in mourning.  That's the long & short of it.  I'm mourning for the death of my health.  I'm mourning for the death of some of my dreams.  My 30th birthday is on Saturday.  This is not where I wanted to be at 30.