Friday, June 14, 2013

I've been waiting for you

Zero.


Zero...


ZZEEERRRROOOOO!!!!!


Zero is just the most perfect, glorious number.  Don't you think?  Well you do if you have kidney disease & you're talkin amount of protein in the urine.

I've known I was in {at least} partial remission for over a month.  I hit that *magic number* (whatever it is) in early May.  I know this because the last diuretic pill I took was the night we flew in to California for our Disneyland trip.  I walked around for 3 days, in warm weather, eating processed food, and I didn't swell.  It was AMAZING!

After I stopped swelling, I stopped taking my Lisinopril (BP medicine).  Dr. R had only put me on that to help the Cyclosporine since I wouldn't take Prednisone with it. It's been so lovely to just be down to taking my little thyroid pill & then my cyclosporine.

And here I am, down to complete, 100% remission.  My dr. honestly didn't think I'd quite get here because all of the studies on Cyclosporine have it paired with a small dose of prednisone.  But I'm so grateful that I didn't have to stay on that pill from Hell.  And now I look forward to tapering off Cyclo, as **wonderful** as it has been.

And when I say, "look forward," I mean, "Have a sick, scared, terrified feeling in the pit of my stomach."

I'm super duper excited I'm in remission but am still going through a little bout of depression that comes with every round of labs.  Up until this point, I knew what I was fighting for.  Now everything is up in the air.  Do I keep at my current dose for a while hoping that will help me stay in remission?  Do I get off this drug ASAP? Because, lets be honest, its poisoning my body.  How long will I get to feel normal & healthy?  When will the other shoe drop?  Am I going to have to start ALL over again?

I don't know.  I don't know at all.  All I can do is pray & be grateful for where I am now.  Which I am.  Happy.  Grateful.  Blessed.

Thank you for all of your continued prayers.