I'm feeling really emotional today, the last day of 2012. What a whirlwind of a year its been. This time last year is when I started to put on the water weight - gaining about 16 lbs in 2 1/2 weeks. I found out I had kidney disease in mid-January, had a biopsy January 31st, diagnosed with FSGS a few weeks later & started Prednisone March 6th. I was in complete remission by early June, relapsed in late July, started Cyclosporine September 12th & was done with Prednisone on October 18th. I gained 16 lbs on Prednisone & found out in November that I should not have more children.
That is why I haven't blogged. All I've ever wanted to be in life was a mom. Never, at any point, did I think I was done having children. I knew the instant that I heard Max cry for the first time that I had to do it again.
I cried the day I had my appointment with Dr. A (my MFM dr) but really have felt a lot of peace since. I've had my sad moments but I'm doing ok.
Since I found out, I have put a lot of energy into clearing out all of the baby stuff (the space feels good!) & taking control of my life & health. I cut out sugar, I work out like a crazy person & I've lost 11 lbs & am back in my old clothes. I found out about my new job with BYU-I right after the other news & felt the Spirit whisper that the timing was no coincidence; this is just one way my Heavenly Father is taking care of my heart.
I have big plans for 2013. 2012 brought me a lot of trials & more hard days than I ever want to have again. But it also brought me a lot of blessings. I have a wonderful husband, 3 gorgeous, healthy, smart, loving children, I have the Gospel, I have fantastic friends, a supportive family & I have the drive to be as healthy as I can be for as long as I can be. I am in control of my life. Its going to be a great year.
Sayonara 2012! Bring it on 2013!
